I need help,but im an odd case...?

Don't worry, I have the same issue as you. Well, kinda. I have depression, and I don't want to talk to anyone about it. What depression usually is is a chemical imbalance in your brain. It can happen for no reason at all; that's what happened to me. What you really need, is anti-depressents. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's not your fault. But the anti-depressents will make you probably feel better, and talking to a shrink definitely will. And, by the way, please don't hurt yourself again.